WE'RE #1

That's right Earth is #1. Mars sux!!! We have water, air, & people. Mars what do you have red rocks. Hey Mars up yours. You don't even make your own candy bars. Last time I looked Jupiter was better than you. Hey Mars Yo Moma. Mars the only planet Neptune can make fun of.

The Middle

Can someone please tell me why our three remaining candidates for President and most politicians are spending so much time trying to win the middle? Who is in the middle? Does the middle care? I might be wrong but if the middle had an opinion they could pick a position and they would not be the middle. Here is a fresh idea tell us where you stand and work on the left or the Right that is where the people are. I am not talking about the loony left or the radical right. I am talking about the solid standing folks who know who they are.
Now that I think about it the democrats can do what ever the hell they want. Can Senator John McCain start talking to the Right. I keep hearing how conservative he really is. Well I have not seen it since 2000. Hey I am sorry you lost buddy get over it. You have been in bed with every slimy dem over the last 8 years. Take a page from President Bush (who kicked your butt) and work on the base that is pretty unhappy with you. Then try something he did not always do work for the conservative Christian right who make up most of voters of this country.
Give up on the middle they don’t care that is why they are the middle.

Keep America Beautiful...

get a haircut and shave your nasty face. Yes I am talking to you hippie. Take a trip to you local barbershop. Yes a barbershop to see your friendly neighborhood barber not a 20 something girl who spent a few weeks at a votech. After the skilled barber cuts the shag off your head pick up some products to keep you and your hair well groomed that are made for men and smell manly. Stop sharing haircare and styling products with your wife, sister, or boy uhh girlfriend. They still make stuff for men use it. If your barber does not offer shaves go home and take a hot shower put some shaving cream on your face then remove the cream and hair from your face with a sharp razor. You might try more than one pass to do a good job. Clean the freshly shaven skin with a hot towel then rinse with cold water to close the pores. Apply some aftershave to finish the job. You will look and feel better and the country will appreciate the effort. When you realize the benefit of shaving regularly you might want to start doing it right with proper equipment. When you are ready go to http://www.shavemyface.com/ and click on the forum shave my face university. Some nice gents will help you learn to shave well and help you find the proper tools to get the job done. Your are giong to have to make return trips to the barbershop like twice a month. You should enjoy the conversation in the shop and the whole experience. When you start looking like a man you might just start acting like one and who knows we may just save this country one shave and haircut at a time.